Bread and Jam

It is the bewitching hour, 02.00AM, and here I am scoffing down some good old bread and jam. It is a staple comfort food that I was raised on however, I cannot remember the last time I craved some. And before rumours are invoked… no I am not with child, especially not at my age, although if it were possible, which it is not, I would love another one. Presently my little dogs have become my substitute babies and my adult offspring are periodically given the Spanish inquisition over Zoom as to when I may be given the title of ‘Moomar’. I coined the name ‘Moomar’ for my future grandchildren to call me as it has a iconic ring to it. My children do not agree that the term is grandmotherly or even iconic, they deem it one of my crazy dream states, running through fields of golden corn with my little grandchildren shouting a name that is on par with ‘Doodoo’. (I am having a dramatic pause moment while you all visualise me gliding like a free spirit through the fields whilst hearing the melodic “MooMar” “MoooooMarrrr”. See it sounds rather hip do you not agree?). Rewind to the start of this post, ‘bread and jam’, is this your staple since a child? Taking a bite, the texture, the aroma, it transports me back to the times when I was an infant, a toddler, an adolescent, a teen. It conjures images of my father lovingly preparing it, my mother baking bread, the smell of dough rising, the first bite when the slice is warm. It creates a sense of calm, comfort and introspection. Of late, I have been experiencing vivid flashbacks to various moments in my life. Initially I adopted the catastrophic stinking thinking, “OMG I am about to die and that is why I am remembering all this” but lucky for me I am still breathing 🙂 phew! So, why then? Why all this visual time travel back to events in my life? Does everyone do it? IS it the curse of being in my 50’s? Is it the realisation, brought on by a huge pandemic, that life is fragile like a crystal glass that could shatter into a million pieces spontaneously ? I do not have a conclusive answer so I will keep masticating the bread and jam until I have a eureka moment.

I will let you into a secret, I am attempting to write a book. I actually commenced the journey to being a world famous author last year. In my inner mind the book was/is, to be full of wit, humour, rather emotive and certainly engaging. WELL, that was just too much pressure to place on myself in reality as I am not really witty, funny or even slightly interested in being famous. That being said, I have started one, maybe one day I will finish it just to say I have written a book……. I would love to imagine someone reading it while eating their bread and jam.

Sleep tight world

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